Mace Windu here, just coming by to tell you about the new intergalactic application that everyone’s buzzing about.
I spend too much time with these dang Padawans, showing them how to work a lightsaber and different ways to implement the Force. It really just makes my medichlorians boil when one of them is foolish and loses a limb over not using a lightsaber correctly. That’s where this application comes in.
I managed to convince the Council to buy each Padawan an iPhone under our school’s discount, and the kids love it. They can choose their own lightsaber color, and with each swing, the iPhone emits a certain sound. This allows me to teach my students control and restraint, because if you swing the iPhone too hard, it makes a clashing sound. Keeping it slow makes it emit swooshing sounds, like a brilliant saber slowly gliding through the air.
You might want to be careful when dueling with a partner, though. Getting too close might allow your blades to actually hit, and none of us want to deal with replacement fees. There have already been a few reprimands from Yoda about ‘finances’… It’s just not pretty.
One of my fellow Jedi Masters was telling me that he wanted to imitate some of the dual-bladed lightsabers, but he isn’t lucky enough to own two. We got talking about it, and figured out that you can equip your other hand with an OSX-equipped laptop, and install MacSaber, thus allowing full dual-wielding power.
Well, I should really be heading back to my ship. There’s a war to be fought, and plenty more padawans need to get PhoneSaber installed on their iPhones. Thanks for your time.