How to Survive Saturday’s Apocalypse With an iPhone (Humor…?)

Now that idiots have made this Saturday, May 21, 2011 a “guaranteed” date for the ultimate impending doom – the beginning of a six-month apocalypse, it is only fitting that the most feature-rich device arguably ever assists you in going above and beyond the rest of the troubled pack (of billions) to stay connected with the latest news and be prepared for whatever the end of days throws at you.

First, let’s start with the accessories you might want to have. I’d recommend a casual stroll to your favorite department stores to find these or similar items since there won’t be time for shipping.

1282517 Angle LargeOf course, your iPhone needs power to do anything. Stock up on whatever external batteries that you can, such as the Powermat Battery Backup. You’ll be glad you have enough power to last a short while whenever your iPhone hits 20%. Maybe you should stop wasting it by playing Angry Birds, though.



1636194 Front LargeAnother good idea would be a hard, durable case for your iPhone 4 in case (pun unintended) conditions get as bad as they could. Browse your local store’s collection. How about an Otterbox Defender?

Pick up whatever screen protectors you can as well. Keep in mind that they can start to peel after a few weeks, so might as well grab at least ten; doomsday iz gunna last six months according to dah pr0phet unless u = saved. But u kno u iz not = saved.



Honestly, battery power and protection is all you need in way of accessories. You can probably figure out most of the apps necessary as well, but you may not have an Internet connection, so plan ahead, I guess. Uh, yeah, let’s just play along…

Grab a full-featured flashlight app. Can never have too much light or know when it may come in handy.

A police radio app may be amusing if anything for a while. Then it could turn into an I Am Legend esque savior.

This one is good to have with you for identifying injuries and healing methods. In seriousness, it even practically saved a few people in the past.

Okay, the last app is for novelty, but it lets you figure out how to identify your family and friends in case they turn into zombies.

Even though the May 21, 2011 date is the most significant in years, there have been countless failed prophecies in the past. In the slim, slim, slim chance anything does happen, this humorous post may not be so humorous. You can thank me later. Or not. Unless you have Internet access. But don’t expect anything to happen, gullible. There’s always 2012.

(Do I think anything will happen? No, May 21 will come and pass like any other day. Is this any less entertaining? Nah.)