[Edward Kirk]

I'm sure you're all aware of the first person in line at the 5th Ave Store in New York. You know, Mr. Greasetard? You're not going to believe this, but we've managed to stumble upon a Wikipedia article which reveals some exceptionally odd things about Mr. Packer. First of all, sit down or at least hold on to something. This is going to be about as absurd as it's ever going to get. As it turns out, Mr. #1 greasetard superfan is in fact no more than a professional line-waiter.

Folks, you're not going to believe this, but Greg Packer's claim to fame is in fact, his fame. I know, I couldn't believe it either. Apparently he holds a record for being the most average person more times than anyone else in the media by showing up first in line for everything and posing as a normal person, waiting for some poor sap of a journalist to come interview him. I know, "What the heck?"



The article says that he has appeared in over 100 individual media appearances, ranging from press coverage of Iraq to two consecutive New Years Eve festivals, and everything in between. He also has a long-running habit of waiting in line for popular products. He's been first in line for pretty much everything. He's like a moth attracted to a lamp, and the iPhone is about as shiny and glowy as it gets.

I mean, come on! Is there anything publicized that this guy hasn't waited in line for? I bet he must be pretty pleased with himself now; he struck the jackpot of all hype. He's probably getting interviewed left and right, and what's worse is that that's the only reason he's doing it. Would I care if this guy was an actual superfan? Of course not! But no, he's just a frigging road construction worker that wants to ruin it for everyone else.

Now take a look at poor #3, David Clayman. He probably would have been First In Line if supertard and his friend didn't beat him to it, and he's even auctioning off his for a freaking charity. I wonder how many David Clamans of the world have gotten beaten by this guy. Well, don't you worry, David. I am hereby bestowing the status of HFIL, Honorary First In LIne, on you, because I can't stand the thought of that other frigtard representing the Apple gene pool.

As for you Mr. Packer, I'm cutting you off. You've had enough press coverage for one lifetime, and I think it's time you went into rehab. I am announcing a boycott of Mr. Greg Packer from all published media on iPhone Alley. Effective immediately, he will neither be referred to by name, nor quoted, nor anything of the like, again, and I urge bloggers, writers, editors, and those affiliated with the media to all do the same.

Further more, I am officially revoking your Superfan status, because you, sir, are a Frigtard, and, quite frankly, about the biggest one I've ever seen.

Dugg!

That guy needs to be taken care of. (i.e. no media)

[Michael Johnston]

I would not be the least bit upset if this guy was tossed out of line by a mob of irate Apple fanboys. This guy doesn't deserve one.

As our good buddy FSJ said: "Put it this way. You will not be getting an iPhone until everyone else in the world who wants one has one. Like, Osama Bin Laden will be using Google maps to find a seafood restaurant in Kandahar before you see yours."

I agree...lets digg this article a lot so that everyone in the world can find out about this guy so the media stop giving him attention so that no one can find out about this guy? Oh wait...that's a problem.

Was an article written about the people who stood in line for a PS3 just to turn around and sell it EBay. I doubt it. The guy bought the phone which is all Apple really cares about. Not some supposed Apple "gene pool". Do you think that 100 million people carrying ipods are somehow the elite of the world. The media doesn't care either who is being interviewed it's just an assignment.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I agree...lets digg this article a lot so that everyone in the world can find out about this guy so the media stop giving him attention so that no one can find out about this guy? Oh wait...that's a problem.

I wish i could be that eloquent. Perfectly put. Much better than Mike the administrator starting a sentence with the work "Like". This site pretty much sums up the apple gene pool.

[Edward Kirk]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I wish i could be that eloquent. Perfectly put. Much better than Mike the administrator starting a sentence with the work "Like". This site pretty much sums up the apple gene pool.

I take it you don't read FSJ? That was a direct quote from his blog.

im sure that he loves your media campaign against him because its just bringing him more media. this article is completely idiotic. what right does some electronics-whore have to media more than a media-whore? at least he knows what he wants and knows how to get it.

I thought he'd be an IT professional, like the rest of us. Next thing you know, you'll be telling me he's an Irishman! How common!

Also, you have the most obnoxious CAPTCHA I've ever seen.

"Apple gene pool"?

I commute through Seattle every day on my way to Redmond, and I've seen the "Apple gene pool." And guess what? Its shallow.


And pretentious.


Apple has been Microsoft without money for decades, and now they're starting to become Microsoft-with-slightly-LESS-less-money. Pull your heads out of your collective asses and compare the TECHNOLOGY and BUSINESS PRACTICE, not the IMAGE.

Apple. Is. Microsoft. Microsoft. Is. Apple. It's just that there's two different undeservedly rich people running (at least figure-heading) each one. Except one donates billions to charities he and his wife actually research, and the other... well, the other makes a lot of speeches that get his zombified army wet in the pants.


And PS: Assuming the iPhone does what it claims and well, I think it's, by leaps and bounds, the best cell phone in existence. So I don't hate their products. I just hate their user base. At least Microsoft users know when they're being fucked...

Oh and I almost forgot:

Who fucking cares if this guy is first in line? Have any of you fools ever waited in a line before? Anyone who wants to wait in one for longer than they have to DESERVES whatever piddly media attention they get. Get off his nuts just because HE is doing what YOU would be doing if you weren't pandering to nerds who can't get enough of reading the same info about iPhone's over and over again.


And please, excuse my frustration. I just...
I just hate you Apple users so much. You're so ignorant.

Well, not all of you, but blanket statements are just so much more dramatic...

[Edward Kirk]

Originally Posted by Lazlo Toth

Also, you have the most obnoxious CAPTCHA I've ever seen.

Agreed. Would you like a new one... Mr. Robot?!!

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Dugg!

That guy needs to be taken care of. (i.e. no media)

Yeah, this guy is a real son of a bitch. Auctioning off his iPhone for charity and everything. /sarcasm

pretty interesting article considering this blog is obviously build around the sole purpose of making money off of the iPhone hype...

You just jealous 'cause you didn't think of it!